Wednesday, December 11, 2019
If your boss does these 3 things, they have a personal problem with you
If your babo does these 3 things, they have a personal problem with youIf your babo does these 3 things, they have a personal problem with youPlenty of professionals at all levels have walked away from a less-than-perfect conversation with their supervisors believing that their baboes must have problems with them on a personal level. She obviously hates me, your subconscious may scream after your babo rejects a proposed use ofPTO, forgets to ask you to sign the CEOs birthday card, or puts you in the hot seat during a project meeting. However, these perceived slights generally stem from a hectic work schedule, stress in your bosss personal life, or - in the worst-case scenarios - an issue with your professional performance.But what if you suspect that your boss just straight-up doesnt like you? In many cases, these fears can be dispelled by observing your bosss behavior toward your colleagues. Is she generally inclined to dismiss people, to avoid conversations about tricky work subj ects, or to dodge mentions of future advancement for her employees? If thats the case, the issue lies with her personalmanagementstyle, not with any singular dislike for you. But if shes warm, open, and helpful with your coworkers but not with you, its possible that your personalities just dont click.Below, weve listed 3 signs that indicate that your boss just isnt that into you - and what you can do about it.1. Your boss goes out of her way to avoid you.Of course, an effective manager should strive to remain open and communicative to all members of her team, regardless of her personal feelings about them. And if an employees work performance is causing issues for the team as a whole, its a managers literal responsibility to address those problems and put the employee on an improvement plan. However, in practice, supervisors often take extraordinary steps to avoid one-on-one conversations with the employees whose performance is just fine, but whose company they dont particularly en joy.If you notice your boss making herself scarce when you swing by her office to ask a question or constantly postponing scheduled check-ins or reviews, it may be your boss not-so-subtly indicating that shed rather not spend any extra time with you. However, you probably still need to talk to your boss to get your job done, so theres no need to take these behaviors lying down.According to career expert Alison Green of Ask a Manager, approaching your boss with a positive vibe and a direct message can cut throughcommunicationsnafus, whether the issues are performance-based orpersonality-based. If you need your bosss attention stat, Greenadvises the following approachYou could say something like this I found it really helpful when we had regular weekly meetings in the past. Weve stopped doing them as frequently, and when we do them, its often at the very end of the week and we run out of time to titel everything. I often run into situations where I need your feedback, and it can be to ugh to wait as long as weve been waiting. Would you be open to meeting weekly again, and trying to do those meetings at a regular time that we can both plan around?You could also ask something like this Is there a better way for me to get ahold of you when youre busy and I need something that shouldnt wait until our one-on-one? Typically Ive tried messaging or calling, but I know youre busy and cant always respond right away. When somethings time-sensitive, whats the best way for me to get ahold of you?2. Your boss uses negativebody languagearound you.Its easy to dismiss body language as New Age-y and unimportant, but the way you use your physicality to interact with others often speaks louder than any words can do. Bosses who dont personally like you can frequently mask their distaste in their spoken dialogue and their written communications, but sometimes have more trouble policing their bodys movements, gestures, and positioning.Business author and speaker Michael Kerrput it like this Whether its a subtle eye roll, constantly assuming a closed off position with arms folded across their chest, or they dont look up from their computer screen when you enter their office, your boss body language will often reveal their true feelings towards you.The best way to handle negative body language from your supervisor involves leading by example. Respond with positive and friendly body language, including direct eye contact, and an open stance. Avoiding the urge to fight fire with fire will reflect well on you and, because people engaged in conversation so often emulate each others body language, you may manage to inspire your manager to open up her own physicality in a convivial way.3. She doesnt display consideration for your well-being.When you call out sick at work, does your boss stop by your desk upon your return to ask how youre feeling? After youve completed a difficult and time-consuming work project, does your boss give you any time to decompress before loadi ng you up again? If youve experienced the death of a loved one and explained the situation to your boss, does she offer her sincere condolences? If the answer to any or all of these is No, youre probably dealing with a personality clash between yourself and your supervisor.Dr. Amy Cooper Hakim of management consulting firm The Cooper Strategic Grouptold Business Insiderthat If your boss keeps you overburdened and never attempts to work around your conflicts, these are surefire signs that your boss doesnt care about how you feel, physically or emotionally, and only cares about things directly related to work. Its not your bosss job to be your friend, but they should still care about your wellbeing.If youre dealing with a boss like this, your best course of action is to stand your ground and advocate for yourself. If youve been sick and your boss instantly tries to drop a dozen new projects on your desk upon your return, tell her firmly and clearly that you need time to re-acclimate, but that you can take on X number of new projects immediately. Respond with a strong sense of your own boundaries, but also propose a compromise, and youll still come out looking like a team player.
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